Invasion of the Cooking Supplies

It's hard to believe that something as innocuous as pest control could set off the kind of emotional outburst I had today.

Of course, 'pest control' is a euphemism for cockroach killing - after making only 15 calls to Cheap Landlord, I was going to get rid of the livestock that recently invaded my kitchen.

But to do so, I had to empty out all of my kitchen cupboards. That's when I encountered Dear Husband's enormous cache of cooking supplies.

I haven't paid much attention to the contents of my cupboards over the past month, because I've been subsisting on a healthy diet of coffee, cereal, and candy. So it came as a shock to learn that I have enough supplies to become somewhat of a gourmand, should I ever want to cook anything again.

It's comforting to know that I own two gallons of olive oil, five types of vinegar, eight pounds of breadcrumbs, six different kinds of sugar, seven open packages of various kinds of exotic rice, and four giant cans of chicken stock - and those are just the highlights. Of course, if I decide to make anything, it will be a little bland - DH packed up his 50 containers of spices on the day he departed. All I have left is some salt and a sad little can of cream of tartar.

Of course DH's culinary supplies brought back some memories too - quite a few intimate dinners and a handful of fabulous parties that brought wonderful friends together around DH's fantastic cooking.

Other items I found while cleaning out the cupboards brought tears to my eyes. A section of my hometown newspaper folded back to show our wedding announcement. The dessicated, ribbon-wrapped bouquet that my single bridesmaid carried down the aisle. A hideously ugly cake plate given as a wedding gift that I don't quite know what to do with right now.

I cried all afternoon. Tears have been a haphazard, irregular occurrence over the past month - sometimes they won't stop, and sometimes they refuse to come no matter how much I need to release them. Nothing in my past gives me any idea how to navigate this time in my life. But I have plenty of breadcrumbs.