The World's Shortest Marriage

I was married for about five minutes to a guy disguised as the Man of my Dreams. However, Dear Husband had a Secret Life. Watch in horror as I deal with the fallout of the World's Shortest Marriage.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Mail Call

Today's mail brought some interesting correspondence for Dear Husband.

DH apparently stiffed Verizon for more than $500 in phone service. My heart stopped for a moment when I saw the collection notice - I wondered whether this debt was accrued during the World's Shortest Marriage, and therefore my responsibility. It wouldn't surprise me at all to know that DH had a secret phone number to go along with his secret life and secret myspace page.

But no. A quick phone call to the world's friendliest collection agent revealed that DH screwed the phone company during the time he was hiding out in the desert licking his wounds after First Wife booted his ass out.

After the collection agent and I shared a few chuckles about what a loser DH is, I offered her his parent's address and his cell phone number. Maybe they can also share a few laughs.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

The Sunflowers are Taking Over the Asylum

My sunflowers are taller than I am.

My whole garden thrived unbelievably while I was in Kauai. When I returned, I had a bumper crop of green tomatoes and peppers that are just waiting for the sun to ripen them. The corn was trying to keep up with the sunflowers. The basil had multiplied. And the sweetpeas, which the garden curmudgeon told me would never grow at this time of year, had exploded with pods.

My garden neighbor and good friend M cared for my plot as lovingly as I do while I was away, and it showed. Except for a few problems with the sweetpeas trying to strangle the pepper plants while his back was turned, he reported no problems.

I did get one big surprise - the sunflowers I planted are a brooding brownish-orange, not yellow. I simply must start looking at the seed packages! But I think I like them even better for being different.

Yesterday I gathered the first bounty from the garden - fresh basil, sweetpeas, the first open sunflower, a basketful of lavender and rosemary branches, and a single yellow rose snitched from a communal rosebush. My apartment is filled with flowers that cost me nothing but time well-spent.

I joined the community garden almost without thinking in early March when I was grieving the departure of my friend K. At the time, I had no idea how centering, how healing, how amazing it would be. I feel grounded in my little 10-foot plot of land in a way I could never imagine.

Friday, May 18, 2007

Nirvana

Kauai was phenomenal.

The day after I arrived, B and I packed up her truck and set out for Polihale, a remote seven-mile stretch of sand on Kauai's west coast that's miles from the end of the paved highway and accessible only by a potholed dirt road.

We arrived just before sunset and rushed to set up our camp on a rise overlooking the beach so we could watch the show. We sat in our chairs under the pink-painted sky and watched Venus ascend, and I started to really breathe for the first time in what felt like a year.

There were other people at Polihale, but they all left by about 10 pm, and B and I were alone under the stars. Neither of our lanterns worked, which turned out to be a happy accident - we were in the midst of the blackest darkness I've ever seen.

In the morning, B went surfing while I went swimming, and then we made coffee and scrambled eggs without ever getting out of our chairs.

The rest of the trip was just as fabulous. Although I last visited Kauai with Dear Husband, he wasn't on my mind. We hiked and swam and did nothing deliberately and blissfully, and I felt myself healing - at last - from the events of the past year.

F and P came over from Maui for the weekend, and we climbed the Sleeping Giant on a hot Saturday afternoon. As I stood on the giant's forehead looking at the sweeping panoramic views of the island, I felt the fear that's been dwelling inside me finally begin the transformation into faith.

I think I'm going to live after all.

Monday, May 07, 2007

I Need to Get Away